After the baby, I still wanted to be someone's friend.

After the baby arrived, messages became things I read with one hand and meant to answer later. Later might be after a feed, or when I had slept, or when I could think of something beyond how tired I was. I could want to hear from someone and still not have the energy to answer that evening.

I missed my friends, but arranging a whole evening out felt impossible. I also missed being asked about something other than the baby. When I cancelled a plan, I wanted them to know I was cancelling that particular day, not the friendship.

I told two close friends what I could manage: an occasional voice note, a short walk, a message with no expectation of a quick reply. Then I kept them in Relationshipss on a monthly rhythm. I wanted a small reminder of people I cared about, not another daily target.

When someone came up in Today on a difficult day, I chose Later. Another time, I sent a note asking whether they could join a walk near home. After we caught up, I recorded it. I could change the rhythm when the original choice stopped fitting our life.

There are still unanswered messages. Some plans are still too much. This doesn't give me more sleep or make anyone understand without a conversation. It gives me somewhere to return to an intention that can easily disappear under the next urgent thing. For now, a friendship can have a smaller shape and still have a place in my week.